He is the quintessential old man who always wants to talk about the great things his generation did while complaining about modern society. Abe and Homer have never really seen eye-to-eye as father and son. Page 7 of 11. Abe Simpson is one of the funniest members of the Simpsons family - and these quotes just prove it! Seriously. Abe obviously doesn't feel this way about every girl he meets. Though he doesn't always get the spotlight, he is one more hilarious character from the beloved show. | The War of Art. How does everything look?Homer: Yeah, how do I look?Marge: Do we have enough glasses?Homer: Do we have enough gag ice cubes?Marge: Homer, Homer, put a record on.Homer: What are all our friends' names again? After experiencing so many adventures (that may or may not have happened), Abe often laments that he is now considered an old and useless old man. "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson" is the twenty-fifth and final episode of The Simpsons' eighth season. Mmm! It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 2, 1991. While he would seem to like to twist the truth a little bit every now and then, there might be a sliver of actual facts in his stories. Tagged: Glass, Wine, wiseguy, cork, bottle. Homer: Mmmm... hors dourves.Marge: Homer! While working the drive-thru window, a customer asks for French fries. [at Moe's, everyone, including Moe, is dressed like 1800s military generals] Moe: [hangs up the phone] Well, Homer's out. I promised I woul... Oh, they're here. When Bart questions the validity of that story, Abe admits it's only partially true, although it suggests the true story might be just as interesting. Never. Homer! Under adult supervision, they are then placed in separate youth groups, but the groups go to war. I'm just taking credit for the compilation.) You lie. Abe is not always the easiest person to get along with, but like everyone, he is looking for someone to spend his days with. The information it features include quotes, trivia and cultural references which you, the user can contribute to. After Homer and Marge encounter some sensitive marital trouble, Abe picks up on it and questions Homer if there is a problem with their sex life. The best quotes from The Simpsons (1989) in season 14. The episode was written by John Swartzwelder and directed by Mark Kirkland. Rod: I wish we could see their happy faces! As a way of helping with the process, he even included a list of suggestions for which states should get the boot. Page 10 of 11. The Great Escape is a 1963 film about several hundred Allied POWs who plan a mass escape from a German POW camp. Maybe a bit of both. The friendship between the Simpsons and the Van Houtens is challenged when a painting the Simpsons buy from the Van Houtens' yard sale is discovered to be extremely valuable. His favorite pastime seems to be writing angry letters to anyone and everyone he can complain to. The guide contains staff/voice credits, funny Simpsons quotes, references and other notes. While visiting the academy, Lisa sees that the school is far more challenging than hers and she decides that she wants to attend as well. Share. And to pay for it, I'll give up the Civil War recreation society I love so much. In an attempt to get back in the workforce, Abe takes a job at Krusty Burger but even fast food goes way over his head. Come on Homer what are her faults? Marge: The moral of this story is a good deed is its … I dug up 11 quotes from The Simpsons that, in my opinion, are among the most profound, accurate and definitive takes on 11 different subjects ever made. The Commandant : Consequently, now no cadet can receive a passing grade for the academic year without first conquering this. . Abe repsonds "I used to be with 'it', but then they changed what 'it' was. A writer and film fan. You're Homer's sister-in-law, right? Please! 7F20 The War Of The Simpsons (10 Quotes) 7F21 Three Men And A Comic Book (10 Quotes) 7F22 Blood Feud (10 Quotes) 7F23 When Flanders Failed (11 Quotes) 7F24 Stark Raving Dad (10 Quotes) 8F01 Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington (9 Quotes) 8F02 Treehouse Of Horror II (13 Quotes) 8F03 Bart The Murderer (8 Quotes) Gloria S.: Johnny-boy hasn't been able to cut it, man-wise, for some time, not that I'd want stench of gin and sour defeat pressed against me. The War of the Simpsons “Marge, as a trained marriage counselor, this is the first instance where I've ever told one partner that they were 100% right. That's the great thing about art, everyone can have their opinion about why it sucks. He dismisses the coma as no big deal, and as if to illustrate his point, he falls into a quick coma while standing up before snapping out of it and saying "French toast, please.". Abe even seems to acknowledge the rambling nature of his stories which are filled with historical inaccuracies. But I don't remember you being so beau [burp] tiful! Oh. Tagged: Blame, voted, politician. Whenever the show is on, Abe would just yell "Matlock" as loud as he could until he got to watch it. Now what I'm with isn't 'it' anymore and what’s 'it' seems weird and scary. “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.”. War of the Simpsons War of the Simpsons Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mark Kirkland ... (The quotes themselves, of course, remain the property of The Simpsons, and the reproduced articles remain the property of the original authors. I’m not going complicated today. Add more and vote on your favourites! There's so much knowledge that Abe Simpsons has that you just couldn't learn in the history books. Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side! The only issue is whether or not any of his stories are true. The guy who can't be counted on for nothing knowhow dag-nammit. Though he may be old, Abe keeps busy with a number of hobbies. ― Lisa Simpson. What about that bash with champagne... and musicians and holy men? His most ambitious attempt was trying to get the president to remove some US states. Directed By. Marge: Oh Homer. "Hors doovers." It's really painful! While the main five members of the Simpsons family get all the attention, the oldest family member should not be overlooked. That was our wedding! Homer: Bart! In one particularly incredible tale, Abe explains that he posed as a female burlesque dancer during World War II when stuck behind enemy lines. Add more and vote on your favourites! Barney: [dressed like Lincoln] And I'm not too crazy about our Stonewall Jackson. A one-stop shop for all things video games. Ned: Well, the folks at the Senior Center sure will love that peach tree we planted. — Homer Simpson , The Simpsons , Season 1 : The Crepes of Wrath. It first aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 18, 1997. I like to think that I'm a patient, tolerant, woman and that there was no line you could ever cross that would make me stop loving you. Ned: Sin of regret. I like to think that I'm a patient, tolerant, woman and that the... Are you sure your Ma let you kids drink coffee? Watch The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20 online via TV Fanatic with over 6 options to watch the The Simpsons S2E20 full episode. The Bart Of War " is the twenty-first episode of Season 14 . How someone could steal a word is a mystery but Abe insists he chased him for dickety-six miles to get the word back. Reverend Lovejoy: Ned, Maude, what brings you here?Ned: Well... sometimes God bless her, she underlines passages in my bible because she can't find hers!Homer: Oh, lucky you don't keep guns in the house.Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, why are you here?Homer: Oh, because I got drunk and looked down her dress! [After the Simpsons receive a large idol head of Xtapolapocetl, the Olmec god of war, as a reward from Burns. It was directed by Mike B. Anderson, written by Richard Appel and featured Willem Dafoe in a guest spot as the school' Simpsons creator Matt Groening comments that this dialogue sums up the whole show.] Homer. The best quotes from The Simpsons (1989) in season 14. Well sometimes she can be a... Ned, Maude, what brings you here? When Abe is invited to speak to Bart's class, he is able to teach them a bit of untold America history. RELATED: The Simpsons: 10 Lionel Hutz Quotes That Are Still Hilarious Today. I want to hear your witty banter. We're not sure how an onion could even be worn on a belt let alone become popular fashion. That th... Mmmm... hors dourves. A page for describing Recap: Simpsons S 14 E 21 The Bart Of War. The impatient cry became something of a catchphrase for him. It's time for bed. You promised! He forgets birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. He chews with his mouth open, he gambles, he hangs out at a seedy bar with bums and low lifes.Homer: Oh it's true!Lovejoy: Homer don't interrupt.Marge: He blows his nose on the towels and then puts them back in the middle!Homer: I only did that a couple of times! Last resort. Homer is understandably turned off by the discussion, especially the hilariously drawn-out way Abe pronounces "seeeeeeeeeex." Abe's life lessons are not always helpful or even factual, but a lot can be gained from the man's understanding of growing old. Chief Wiggum: Well, well, well! RELATED: The Simpsons: 5 Relationships Fans Were Behind (& 5 They Rejected). (Pause) I'll do it! By Kayleigh Banks Aug 17, 2020 The best quotes from The Simpsons (1989). Abe is cranky and absent-minded which could explain why he is relegated to the nursing home. About Us | Copyright Inquiry | Privacy Policy | Contact Us. Reverend Lovejoy: Ned, Maude, what brings you here? Homer! The best quotes from The Simpsons (1989). According to his own stories, Abe Simpson lived a pretty interesting and event-filled life. ― Marge Simpson. " Abe Simpson (or Grandpa Simpson) is a very different man than his son Homer, but his ridiculous personality fits in perfectly in the dysfunctional family. “I don't think Dad is accurately portraying Native American life.”. You lie! Marge: Oh, they're here. Then he realizes it's actually a stroke. The Bart of War - S14-E21. All the latest gaming news, game reviews and trailers. ", NEXT: The Simpsons: 10 Most Painfully Relatable Moe Quotes. Rod: I'm sorry. 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Mayor Quimby: Welcome fans of America's favorite pastime: baseball? Well... sometimes God bless ... Well I was thinking... do you think you could babysit the kids t... Bart! Oh, son, when you're older, you'll know better. Abe certainly does like to tell a good story, even if it's a story that doesn't actually go anywhere. Bart and Milhouse badly damage Ned Flanders' collection of Beatles memorabilia. He starts the story by saying that it takes place in Nineteen Dickety-Two before explaining "We had to say 'dickety', because the Kaiser stole our word 'twenty'". Lovejoy: Now Marge… But last night you didn't just cross that line, you threw up on it! In a flashback, Homer remembers making fun of his father for not understanding modern music. John S.: She never cooks, she doesn't keep a clean house, she [shouts] ?Homer: Go to bed! Directed by Steven Dean Moore, Mike B. Anderson. The show has a reputation of having a lot of fans in the older demographic and Abe certainly counts himself as one of them. — Homer Simpson , The Simpsons , Season 8 : Treehouse of Horror VII. The Bore: Even if she obviously was given free rein to say whatever she needed to say (to Tim Lovejoy's eventual regret), Marge still managed to drive everybody to boredom by just not stopping for a whole afternoon with her rant of what she hates about Homer. . It first aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 18, 2003. Phaneron . He has a variety of medical issues and his episodes are so frequent that he hardly seems to notice them anymore. 1 Some of the best known quotes of Audie Murphy as written on Pages 369-371 of Colonel Harold B. Simpson's book "Audie Murphy: American Soldier" 2 ... ON WAR "War is like a giant pack rat, it takes something from you and it leaves something behind in its stead. After Bart and Milhouse are caught by the police sneaking inside Ned's Beatles memorabilia … This sometimes inspires him to get active again, only to realize he does not understand modern society. © 2021 TV Fanatic The Bart of War. It'll happen to you! I always enjoy keeping up with the latest films in theaters as well as discovering some hidden gems I may have overlooked. We'll pay back those who invited us to their homes. Homer: I would feel A: happy for their good fortune, B: proud to know rich people and C: grateful for an opportunity to learn from a mistake. Bart What? You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee. Ned: Sin of pride, Roddy. (Bart and Lisa's breakfast with Grampa)Grampa: (Pours Lisa a cup of coffee) Sugar?Lisa: (Nervous) Yes, ten please.Bart: (Rattlin') Hey Grampa, top me off!Grampa: Are you sure your Ma let you kids drink coffee?Bart: FOR THE LAST TIME, YES!!!! RELATED: The Simpsons: 10 Lionel Hutz Quotes That Are Still Hilarious Today Abe is cranky and absent-minded which could explain why he is relegated to the nursing home. While in his … RELATED: The Simpsons: 10 Funniest Homer And Bart Moments, Ranked, After Homer falls into a coma following one of his many accidents, Abe visits in the hospital and gives the family some encouraging words. Yet he tells them anyway. RELATED: 10 Jokes From The Simpsons That Have Already Aged Poorly. We gotta find a new General Ambrose Burnside. About Us | Copyright Inquiry | Privacy Policy | Contact Us, Watch The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20 Online. George Orson Welles (May 6, 1915 – October 10, 1985) was an American actor, director, screenwriter and producer who is remembered for his innovative work in radio, theatre and film. Some wiseguy stuck a cork in the bottle.”. As the primary antagonist, Mr. Burns spends his time in his office at the nuclear plant, monitoring his workers via closed-circuit cameras planted throughout the plant. In the episode, Homer gets drunk at a dinner party and embarrasses Marge, so she enrolls them in marriage counseling at a lakeside retreat with Reverend Lovejoy. The go-to source for comic book and superhero movie fans. Lovejoy: Come on Homer what are her faults?Homer: Well sometimes she can be annoying!Marge: Oh Homer.Lovejoy: Now Marge, don't interrupt, you'll get your turn.Homer: I'm done.Lovejoy: Okay, Marge.Marge: Well its not that I don't love the guy, I'm always sticking up for him, it's just that he's so self-centered. But that doesn't mean Abe can't give his son some advice. (She sprays him in the eyes with Mace) Barney: Oh, ow, hey! John S.: That's enough, Gloria! We've never thrown a party. Meet "the Eliminator." Never! That's a 150-foot hand-over-hand crawl across a 60-gauge hemp-jute line with a blister factor of 12. [burp] [cough] Is that a new kind of Mace? The letters don't often make any sense and it's hard to say if he thinks people will listen, but he writes them either way. Do that thing you do that's so cute!Bart What?Homer: That thing you know how to do!Bart: What! The Simpsons: 10 Funniest Ralph Wiggum Quotes Classic Simpsons character Ralph Wiggum has had some great quotes over the show's long run, but these 10 are the funniest. The Simpsons’ deep thoughts on alcohol, jobs, effort, religion and more. It's something we all experience and Abe has some wise and funny things to say on the matter. Michael Polcino. It's all his fault. The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20 The War of the Simpsons. Here are some of Abe Simpsons' funniest quotes from The Simpsons. This is the Episode Guide, it features a large compilation of information about every episode of The Simpsons including the Tracy Ullman Shorts. Old Grandpa the feeb. Homer: Well sometimes she can be annoying! Matlock was a legal drama from the '80s which starred Andy Griffith as a brilliant lawyer taking on all sorts of high-profile cases. Add more and vote on your favourites! Role in The Simpsons. It’s one of these annoying buzzwords. Reverend Lovejoy: John, why don't you speak? It … Quotes [a la "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"] Marge: Well I was thinking... do you think you could babysit the kids this weekend, I wouldn't ask, but we're desperate.Grampa: Oh suuuure! Marge: How would you feel if we sold something to someone that turned out to be valuable? With Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith. Add more and vote on your favourites! Glad to be a part of Screen Rant's positive and fun community and have the opportunity to share my thoughts with you. Abe Simpson has managed to last over 30 seasons of the show despite always seeming like he's on the verge of death. "The Bart of War" is the twenty-first episode of the fourteenth season of The Simpsons. There aren't too many things Abe is passionate about, but when it comes to Matlock, he is a full-blown fanboy. How does everything look? Everyone's against me! As he tries to make sense of this strange feeling before finally realizing it's love. Bart gets sent to a military academy as punishment for bad behavior. The Simpsons Season 25 Episode 15 Quotes. Do that thing you do that's so cute! You promised. The War of the Simpsons Barney: (to Patty) Hey! You can't have fun in bed. Oh, meltdown. "The War of the Simpsons" is the twentieth episode of The Simpsons' second season. When Homer was younger, Abe was a domineering and strict father who didn't give Homer a lot of love. “Yeah, Indians don't sit around drinking beer and watching TV.”. Abe's wonderfully confused response suggests he really doesn't get out much. He is considered one of the greatest filmmakers of all time. The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20: "The War of the Simpsons" Quotes. The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20 Quotes. — Burns. Guide to the Simpsons episode "The War of the Simpsons". That I wouldn't eat? A Star is Born-Again - S14-E13. The Simpsons Quotes. It's only worse when he reminds Homer that he's also had sex. He's had a few romances in his time, but one of the more serious and unusual was when he fell for Marge's mother. His story about taking the ferry to Shelbyville is an especially long-winded tale that keeps veering off course into ridiculous tangents. As an adult, Homer is very dismissive of his father and his old man ways. I remember you. He is the quintessential old man who always wants to talk about the great things his generation did while complaining about modern society. Lovejoy: Come on Homer what are her faults? 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