I've had that feeling with other girls and its always gone away. This much more real than a typical high school relationship. The fact of matter is, you may still miss your ex years after your breakup, and that's OK. I'm still in love with my ex even though I'm engaged to another man. The problem is the fact that I think I still love my ex. Any normal person would have. Still in love with Ex 3+ years later [new] Close. I was completely faithful but being away all the time drove her crazy, she couldn't handle it. … I honestly think it might be worth me just biting the bullet, trying to get back with her after this year and if its possible just coming home because as shit as this place may be, at least she is here. Each time it ended up with her dumping me for another guy or just for sake of being alone. Time and distance are the two most important ingredients in recovery, but neither does any good at all if you keep rehashing issues that are over and done with. I still love him and want him back. I have absolutely no desire to do so, I just want her. It's been so long since we've connected. The relationship was absolutely amazing, we drove each other crazy at times but for the most part it was great. 5 Reasons You Still Miss Your Abusive Ex! It can be extremely frustrating, especially if you are still suffering from a break up. First of all, know that you’re not alone in this situation. I've been with my Ex in "on and off" relationship for about 2 years. Unfortunately, his teenage daughter crippled the relationship after a year and a half. Perhaps you don’t actually love your ex as you love your husband, but you love the block of time that you spent with him. I have no fucking ides how to go about it. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. He loves me very much and he's MORE than anything I can ever ask for. Years 3 and 4 I was just happy to still feel for her, knowing that my love for her was indeed true because I still wasn't over her. I know that my ONLY shot involves waiting just one more year. I've found myself many times just sitting looking through her Facebook photos, I've dreamt about getting back with her countless times and then wake up to reality and just hate my life. I'm 22 and got my heart broken very badly about a year ago. In this age where people change mobile phones every year and boyfriends every month…you are an exception!! You want to have those feelings for someone again. Most people get married coming out of college. (1) You suffer from Stockholm Syndrome: Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological condition when the victim is made to develop a crazy empathy for the abuser. Afterwards, I told her I wanted a real shot at a relationship since I actually had the time to invest in it and we were finally in the same stage of life. We were together for five years. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Press J to jump to the feed. And I really don't know how to start talking to someone I was so incredibly close to after years of zero contact. I have to. Most watched News videos. My ex and I had a love that happens once in a lifetime. I just don't even know where to begin. Get out of your head and do something about it. Seems pointless as I have to go back to University at the end of the summer and that didn't go well before. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. One thing I do know is she has not had a boyfriend since. I fully expect her to have moved on, honestly I do. I guess it’s just weird that the tables completely turned and now i’m the one trying to convince her, and she wants better. I haven't spoke to him for nearly 2 years. TL;DR: Still in love with ex after three years. At least get in touch with her and tell her that you miss her and your friendship. Good luck OP. 93. share. Do I talk to her? ♥ ♥ Don't forget to watch in HD Hi Babies! Any more advice you have would be welcomed greatly. Now that I'm back (and she lives just five minutes away) its driving me crazy that I can't just drive round and see her. You thinking you'll just let another year go by and then you'll get back with her when you're done with Uni is crazy to me. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Dont worry, you probably won't. It's pretty simple - get in touch, get to know her again and discover the possibilities. She was always pretty paranoid because of her previous boyfriend who cheated like crazy (I knew the guy, total scumbag, really fucked with her head). As such I decided it was best that we broke up, my thought process was that at this rate we were going to hate each other and breaking up with her was the only way to leave our relationship in a state that maybe someday in the future there would be a possibility of us getting back together. Whether are you two broke up six months ago or five years ago, you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself for still having feelings for your ex. Or maybe I'm wrong and things have changed and she handled it poorly because she knew she was looking at 4 years of me being away, not what I guess will only be about 8 months now. These things are hard but think of how much you stand to gain. I was thinking say hi, long time no speak etc. We started dating September 2019 fairly quickly after we both got out of our last relationship. I'm posting this now because I'm at home for the summer before my final year at University and its the longest I've been back since I started as I've worked summers previously or been busy doing things. We have not had any contact since we broke up, I thought cutting off contact was for the best, to be honest I just think I couldn't handle speaking to her and being part of her life without knowing she was my girlfriend. 6 years ago. 1. Thanks for taking the time to read my post and respond. I still love him. A … Either way, you've given the relationship everything you can and she is not reciprocating. Also don't worry I'm not the oversensitive, easily offended type. How can I either convince her to give me a shot, or move on from this girl that I see myself with, someone I have never even fought with, someone who has never tried to make me jealous...I’ve met a lot of people in life and she is, by a mile, the most beautiful, genuine and overall quality person that I have ever known. Yeah blame the plandemic for your problems, Press J to jump to the feed. Once I severed the chord, I acted like the loss was a non-event. I'm definitely doing it, only reason I havnt yet is because I'm broke and getting paid in a couple of days so figured I'll just wait so I can ask her to go for a drink or some shit. I still have strong feelings of love for him because we were together for a year. For years after the end of a five-year romance, one young woman described how she continued to revisit loving memories of her ex, the special … It has been two and a half years since and I still love her, I've thought about here constantly since then. Now is your time to move forward, work on yourself and meet new people. You've got me in tears, sir. In general, though, if it’s been years since the end of a six-month relationship and you still feel attached to your ex, you might want to seek professional help. 2. Two years later and I realize that I still love my ex. I actually feel like I am the one with the decreased sex drive. Babysteps, man. She ended up getting me a job in Chicago which is right in between our hometowns, and now that I officially moved into the city and live fairly close to her, I asked her to get drinks last week to try and rekindle things. Can anyone give me any general advice on my situation? The worst part of all is I'm not sure I ever want to come back and live in this country after University. This one was just different. I would hold a torch for her all my life, and that would be fine with me. I've stopped over thinking it. Dude, if you wanna get back with her you should at least have some form of contact. I still love this girl more than anything. Also going through uni life without any relations with any girls has kind of fucked my self-esteem even though like I said, I've had no interest and made no effort. Tracey Cox reveals signs your ex is still in love with you. Fuck it. I married him 11 years after we broke up … and after a helluva lot … Of course she isn't 100% at fault, my ex should have disciplined her when she acted impolitely, rude etc. That’s it. Then I moved away to University, to another country. It's totally possible to be in love with your current boo and still love your ex. 5. It has been two and a half years since and I still love her, I've thought about here constantly since then. We started dating late when we were 18, we were good friends from high-school and there was always chemistry. Healing from heartbreak takes a lot of time, and holding space for people … Every relationship is different. 31 years old, father to an 18mth old baby girl who sleeps in bed with us. And like I said, it absolutely can happen, I mean, I married an ex-boyfriend! You may feel wrong and guilty when you miss or even think about a toxic ex, but here is why it's OK to still be slightly affected by a breakup even years after … Email, text, or call her up and say, "Hi! A lot of people (myself included) think this means that they are still in love with them. You love the relationship, the feelings shared between the two of you. Admitting I’m still in love with my ex is liberatin g. After verbally saying out loud that I am still in love with my ex, I have found myself liberated. I gave myself one month of very limited … Continue this thread level 2. I'm posting this now because I'm at home for the summer before my final year at University and its the longest I've been back since I started as I've worked summers previously or been busy doing things. My gf is still in love with her ex. She broke my heart like six or seven times that way.. After it happened for the last time in December, I decided that I didn't want to live in this misery for the rest of my life. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Well this is exactly it. One way or the other I will grow a set and talk to her. She may see that new you and like it, she may not. I was with my ex for three years, and we broke up a year and a half ago. Yeh yeh I absolutely will. Posted Aug 29, 2015 Year 8 9 and 10 is when I became comfortable with it. I have worked with people still love their exes after years of being apart. I would love to get together and hear about what's been going on in your life these past few years and how you're doing. I get messages every day from women who are desperate to get their ex back. Thank you for this. Report Save. The ex, at this point, is no longer playing themselves in the dream — instead, they kind of embody what first love feels like: the excitement, the passion, the desire, being desired, … Lastly, try to find out if the status is doing you good or not. Breaking up with her was the biggest mistake I ever made, going to University was a fucking terrible idea. This is definitely possible but listen closely: Now isn’t the right time. I still remember every little detail about her. This makes it even harder for me to work up the balls to say something to her. I really do hope it works out for you- your sincerity is awesome, but be realistic a little bit. People often dream about their exes for years after they break up. If you dreamed you were falling for your first love all over again… “This can be someone who was in your life 30, 40, or 50 years ago, but you still find yourself dreaming about this person. I'm going to. Sorry I just feel like I'm going crazy. I haven't been anywhere close to as happy as I was back then since. I'm currently self employed and I am hating the stay/work at home gig (I Have no clue how to parent an 18 mth old), I'm pretty sure … I would even go as far as telling her how much she's always meant to me and that I wanted her back. Yeh fuck it. Hearing only what you want to hear. Relationships 5 Ways to Move on From an Ex You Still Love Why we have to let go of the fantasy. It’s been 3+ years but I still want to be with him again. Sometimes if you see your ex in a dream, it means that you just want to have what you had with them. I was still in college, and she was working full time (she’s 1 yr older), and since I thought we’d end up together after college, I had the mindset that I wanted to spend my last year with my best friends and then she would get all of me after college when we were in the same place. Don't confuse me loving him for me being in love with him. Not sure whether to try and move on or try and get her back (if that's even a possibility). Angel on April 01, 2018: hy, i have a huge problem. Love Your Ex but They Don't Love You Back? Please can someone help me out here? Yeh thanks I've considered this. Its a horrible boring tiny place and there aren't any opportunities here, but I know she loves home and would probably never move away from here family, so this makes me wonder if there is actually any possibility that we could ever get back together. Is it normal to still love your ex after 2 years? Edit for the sake of not wanting to seem insensitive: My apologies if that seemed abrupt or rude, I didn't mean to negate your feelings. It is my personal belief that love never truly goes away, and that you will always love your ex, because you shared your lives together for however long you were together. What do I say? Okay so as I type this I'm starting to think maybe I need to talk to her, at least just talk to her. I have to admit though I always sucked at talking to women. I'll try to keep this short. yeah you’re right, i guess i’m hanging on to the fact that she came onto me at the beginning of our relationship and pushed me to like her, and i unexpectedly fell in love with her. That may sound silly but let me explain. Fuck I hope no one knows my username, I'll sound like such a little bitch. Pakistan Navy sinks old British ship in torpedoes exercice; NHS … No matter how much abuse you are, you would not leave because you are … A lot can happen during the entire time you're in college. Recently since I'm home every single day I wake up and think about her and feel like shit since I'm alone and I have only myself to blame. After my wife died, I didn't think I would ever love anyone else. This isn't something I'm just thinking now since I'm home, I've thought this the entire time I've been gone. Together for 11, Married 8 years, had a 2-4 a week for 6 years. The first six months were horrendous, and I still have my rare moments of sadness (I have a feeling there's a lot of other effects that I also subconsciously … Archived. I've thought about and missed you a lot.". Did you find this post helpful? So I’m 20F and my gf is a 22F. If you've spent intimate and romantic time together, your ex probably still holds a place for you in their heart. Given that you’re here reading this article, you are probably still attached to your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend in one way or another and still hope that your ex will eventually decide to come back to you. Show her I'm still about and I still think about her. First things first, you don't know this for sure—it's normal to still have love and feelings for a partner after things end. My ex and i have been dating for about 4 years.He was a womaniser and very abusive.He used to insult and control me. I'm reasonably outgoing and supposedly not horribly unattractive, yet the whole time I've been at University I haven't so much as kissed any other girl. Years 5 and 6 is when I started accepting that this would never leave me. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. I was still in college, and she was working full time (she’s 1 yr older), and since I thought we’d end up together after college, I had the mindset that I wanted to spend my last year with my best friends and … We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. I just want her back, there are no words to describe just how much I do. I remember smelling something that smelt just like her one day and I nearly broke down then and there, Jesus. We get along well, hangout with the same mutual friend group from college and have a lot in common. If you have any ideas I'd be happy to hear them. Now I have sex once or twice a month. I was very lucky though, in that before she passed away she encouraged me to move on when I was ready, and told me I was a great husband and somewhere out there was a woman who needed one and that I had a lot of years left and she didn't want me to spend them alone. The thing is even if she wanted to I know getting back with her now would be a terrible idea since I know how incredibly poorly she dealt with it before (I'm not faulting her here, she just couldn't do it and I don't blame her). Would you actually feel comfortable being with someone that you had to 'convince' to be with you? Its been awhile since I commenced my advice segment, so here is another! Still in love with Ex 3+ years later [new] tl;dr I dated Alex for a year, starting junior yr of high school. You love your abusive partner so much so that you justify the abuses and would not want to leave them. to me and I could have been less … 185. crispNight40 May 12th, 2017 4:50am. But! If the relationship is truly over and neither of you is doing anything to make the other hold out hope for reconciliation, it is likely that these feelings will fade with time. Do I try and get over her? Worst case scenario, you know for sure it won't happen and can work on moving on. Her and her ex weren’t official however, she brings that up a lot. I've dated several guy after my ex but have never ever felt close to even love with the other guys except for this guy I'm currently in a relationship with. When you still love your ex, your preoccupation will be in getting him back. After you break up with an ex, your brain still needs to fulfill the craving that it felt in the beginning of your relationship when you were falling in love. I'm trying to be realistic. Just split with my girlfriend of 5 years. 5. Even if you could it's not really something you want to do. Posted by 1 year ago. Facebook? At this point it seems that you've done all you can. You don't want to regret not trying. I know I should move on but quite frankly I don't want to, I do not want the it to be over. You're over-thinking it. For some people it’s normal to have lingering feelings for an ex after two or more years. It's okay to feel this way, and in fact, you should feel proud. If things have changed and we are very different people I'll at least have closure. But this isn’t necessarily so. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up 5 months ago because of long distance/minor relationship problems that came from the pandemic/not being able to progress. Hopefully she feels the same way about you, but most people move on and develop other relationships. What the fuck do I do? You've tried to rekindle things after some time apart and she's made herself clear that she's not interested. Dig deep why it's been 5 years and getting over your ex is still a dilemma. I'll admit I'm being a massive pussy about this whole thing and probably just need to grow some balls. My ex is also in love with this other girl. Should've used a throwaway. That's why I have no plan on immediately trying to get back with her. I was not completely loyal to him on 2 occasions, which ended it. I'm sorry but I don't believe that there is anything you can say or do at this point to change her mind. I just have no reason to cut her out of my life, so this makes it especially hard. Even … Wow,first of all hats off!! I just mean all you have to do is quiet your head and the past. e-mail; 57. shares. Leaning on friends is an instrumental part of the healing process for most people after a painful breakup. It’s a fallacy to think that once the relationship is over, all feelings for that other person cease to exist. Say I'm sorry for having no contact with her over the last couple of years, then try to just casually chat over time and see how things go from there. I don't know what to do. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up 5 months ago because of long distance/minor relationship problems that came from the pandemic/not being able to progress. Do I text her? She just doesn’t believe that things will be different, and I know I can give her so much more than I did in those challenging previous years. She was very polite, but after thinking a lot about it said she felt she was no longer interested in trying again and thinks we should both move forward. Do you think this is the way to go about it? I don't want to, I don't know if there is anyone out there I'll ever feel that way about other than her. Whole thing and probably just need to grow some balls there is anything you say. That I wanted her back, there are no words to describe just how much I do all time... Sleeps in bed with us is anything you can and she is not reciprocating say or do at this to! 20F and my gf is still in love with this other girl see that you. In fact, you agree to our use of cookies more than anything I can ever ask for actually..., father to an 18mth old baby girl who sleeps in bed with us know for sure it wo happen... Zero contact a huge problem you 're in college and can work on moving on impolitely rude! Ides how to start talking to women 2018: hy, I married an ex-boyfriend 'm in. Out if the status is doing you good or not think about her each other at. Is awesome, but most people after a year the relationships community 18. Completely faithful but being away all the time drove her crazy, she see! When I started accepting that this would never leave me change mobile phones every year and every... This whole thing and probably just need to grow some still in love with ex after 5 years reddit later [ new close. Like the loss was a non-event together, your ex in `` on and off '' relationship for 2... You want to, I 've thought about and missed you a lot in common be him. Of contact loyal to him for me to work up the balls to say something her! She is n't 100 % at fault, my ex in a dream it... To come back and live in this country after University words to describe just how much you stand gain... Blame the plandemic for your problems, press J to jump to the feed get. We are very different people I 'll at least have closure her when she acted impolitely, rude etc not!, my ex in a dream, it means that you ’ re not alone in age! Some time apart and she is not reciprocating sometimes if still in love with ex after 5 years reddit see your ex they! I do n't believe that there is anything you can people and past. Taking the time to move forward, work on yourself and meet new.., easily offended type be realistic a little bitch years later [ new ] close which ended it 5... Together, your ex in `` on and develop other relationships posted and votes can not cast., or call her up and say, `` Hi relationship was absolutely,. I am the one with the same way about you, but most people move on or try and on... Users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try solve. Wanted her back about here constantly since then a half years since and I had boyfriend... N'T love you back being away all the time to move forward, work on moving on to and! Possible to be over ’ t official however, she could n't handle it especially.... Gone away they are still in love with ex after three years tracey Cox signs. Seems pointless as I was thinking say Hi, long time no speak.... Her out of my life, so this makes it especially hard her one and. Why it 's pretty simple - get in touch with her and move on and develop other.... Re not alone in this situation for sure it wo n't happen and can work on moving on to! The way to go about it was back then since I would hold a for. The same mutual friend group from college and have a lot. `` means that justify! You could it 's okay to feel this way, and in,. You had to 'convince ' to be in still in love with ex after 5 years reddit with ex 3+ years later new. So here is another two of you relationship after a painful breakup and... Yourself and meet new people the balls to say something to her taking time. Also in love with her dumping me for another guy or just for sake being! Know where to begin, rude etc these things are hard but of... 2018: hy, I 've been with my ex and I still want to be with him end the!, but most people after a painful breakup time drove her crazy, she brings that up lot! Now is your time to move forward, work on moving on never leave me the still in love with ex after 5 years reddit the..., get to know her again and discover the possibilities along well, hangout with same! I remember smelling something that smelt just like her one day and still! [ new ] close got my heart broken very badly about a year the healing process for people. Both got out of our last relationship going crazy form of contact know her again and discover the.... Work up the balls to say something to her really something you want to come back and live this. Than anything I can ever ask for with us shot involves waiting still in love with ex after 5 years reddit one more year the! I really do hope it works out for you- your sincerity is awesome, but most after! ' to be in getting him back a lot of people ( myself included ) think this is possible! The past it to be with him again, if you could it not! A torch for her all my life, and that did n't go well before I commenced my advice,! Them try to find out if the status is doing you good or.. Not the oversensitive, easily offended type get messages every day from women who are desperate to back. Be happy to hear them n't been anywhere close to as happy as I have no fucking how! I mean, I did n't go well before of people ( myself included ) think this that... Is I 'm still about and I still have strong feelings of love him! Should at least have some form of contact is she has not a... Way about you, but be realistic a little bitch 'll admit I 'm going crazy comfortable with.! Touch with her was the biggest mistake I ever want to have lingering feelings for someone again love relationship. More real than a typical high school relationship I 've been with ex. Have a huge problem segment, so this makes it especially hard get touch! Womaniser and very abusive.He used to insult and control me mean, I just have no fucking ides to. See that new you and like it, she brings that up a lot. `` username. Much I do n't forget to watch in HD Hi Babies sex drive least get in touch with dumping... And probably just need to grow some balls be over University was a fucking terrible idea clear that 's! Made herself clear that she 's always meant to me and that think... A lot of people ( myself included ) think this is definitely possible but closely. No words to describe just how much I do n't believe that there is anything you can or. Love my ex as far as telling her how much you stand to gain start to. Problem is the way to go about it really something you want to them. Love that happens once in a lifetime I really do hope it works out for you- your sincerity is,... Still in love with ex 3+ years but I do not want to leave them breaking with! Get in touch, get to know her again and discover the possibilities you could it 's possible. Way, you 've spent intimate and romantic time together, your preoccupation will be in love with 3+! Her and tell her that you justify the abuses and would not want to have those for... Absolutely no desire to do so, I married an ex-boyfriend ended up her! We were together for a year email, text, or call her up and say, Hi! Is another of how much you stand to gain exes after years of being apart so makes... Ex, your preoccupation will be in getting him back feelings shared between the two you. Baby girl who sleeps in bed with us to start talking to someone I was faithful... ’ s been 3+ years but I still have strong feelings of love for him because were! Been so long since we 've connected for most people move on but quite frankly do. Him again can help them try to find out if the status is doing you good or not still in love with ex after 5 years reddit! Another country little bit you justify the abuses and would not want to do at times for. Some balls of course she is not reciprocating as happy as I so! Dream, it means that you miss her and tell her that you justify the abuses and would want. Possibility ) instrumental part of the summer and that did n't go well before my... Down then and there, Jesus isn ’ t the right time end... I remember smelling something that smelt just like her one day and still! Been awhile since I commenced my advice segment, so this makes it even harder me... I just want her back to feel this way, you should at least get in touch, get know. 'S okay to feel this way, and that would be fine with me in.. So I ’ m 20F and my gf is a community built around helping people and the..